2016上海高三英语一模作文

时间：2017-03-07 来源：东星资源网本文已影响人手机版

2016上海高三英语一模作文

一家服装店的橱窗外，两只狐狸在对话：

----爸爸快看，妈妈在对我笑呐！

----走吧儿子，有人过来了。

昂立高考样文：

As it is depicted in the picture, two foxes are looking at afashionable coat in front of a clothes shop. ①The young fox is especially glad when seeingthe fur collar, saying, “Daddy, my mother is smiling to me”, while the old foxis rather worried, telling his child to go, as someone may come to catch themfor fur. ②What a tragedy!

The first ti(本文来自：WWw.DXF5.com 东星资源网:2016上海高三英语一模作文)me I saw this picture, something came to my mindimmediately. ③For one thing, itis human beings who are using animals’ furs to make clothing. ④To make matters worse, they considerclothing with fur fashionable and compete with one another on the basis of thenumber of clothing with fur that they are ⑤in possession of. Foranother, animals are sad to experience misfortune. ⑥There’s no doubt that they wish to escapethis destiny, but they are ⑦too often tooweak to run away, let alone to fight against this fate. ⑧Given chances to communicate with humanbeings, they would definitely complain and even condemn our cruelty.

As far as I am concerned, killing animals as well as using theirfur for coats leads to a number of unfavorable consequences. ⑨Thus,the awareness of the significance of protecting animals should be enhanced andsome proper measures should be taken. ⑩Only in this way, can animals andhuman beings live in harmony. (228)

内容分析：

此作文为现象类作文，且还需要结合图片分析。首先考生要看得懂图片。图片配有的文字是是狐狸爸爸和狐狸儿子的对话，这是用来谴责那些杀戮动物做皮草，买卖皮草以及穿皮草的人。这实际上是一则保护动物的公益广告。然后文章需要讲述这个图片给我们传递的信息，大致可以看到的是一方面，人类杀害动物，很残忍；另一方面，动物经历着悲剧的命运。最后谈谈自己的看法，总体就是呼吁人们保护动物，让人类和动物和谐生存。

精彩亮点分析：

亮点一：本句很长，使用了非谓语，while从句，as从句，体现比较娴熟的语法；

亮点二：感叹句，和上一句形成对比，长短集合；

亮点三：it is…who 强调句；

亮点四：To make matters worse，短语使用，简洁，意义明确；

亮点五：in possession of代替have, 措辞佳；

亮点六：there is no doubt引出同位语从句，表明动物想摆脱悲惨命运。

亮点七：too…to和let alone, 进一步表现出人类对动物的不公；

亮点八：Given chances虚拟语气，表达动物的愤怒；

亮点九：should be enhanced/should betaken 两处被动语态，表强调；