If lunch at the 2)Institut Villa Pierrefeu (IVP) often feels like a rehearsal, that’s because it is.
Under the watchful eye of Rosemary McCallum, a 3)Cordon Bleu-trained chef and expert on table manners, 13 female students practice the skills they’ve studied in courses on European 4)etiquette and table service. As the meal unfolds in a 5)stately dining room with 6)corniced ceilings, McCallum gently reminds the five student servers that they must pick up champagne glasses near the bottom of the 7)stems and offer the pear-and-8)Roquefort tarts from the left. Back home, four of the five women serving have 9)live-in staffs. But the program requires them to 10)rotate through the service role anyway so they can better train and manage their employees. Vera, a 30-year-old playing the role of hostess, steers the conversation from her work with orphans back home in Lebanon to a Mexican guest’s love of horseback riding. All goes well until Vera’s fondness for 11)Toblerone 12)mousse leads her to commit a crucial error. “Your husband is still eating, and you’ve already finished,” McCallum says.“Remember to 13)pace yourself.”
For nearly 60 years, IVP―Switzerland’s last traditional finishing school―has taught women social graces, from floral arrangement and table decoration to the art of serving afternoon tea. Updated annually, its intensive six-week course consists of 216 hours of class and, for those working toward a diploma in international etiquette and 14)protocol, 45 exams. Daily practice brings students up to speed on how to 15)whip up the 16)trendiest desserts and how to gracefully adhere to local customs in 20 countries, including Mexico (where you may shake your waiter’s hand) and Japan (where you should never use chopsticks as decorations in 17)swept-up hair). But contrary to stereotype, the motive is not marriage; it’s money. “Lots of people have 18)M.B.A.s, but few have the 19)extra knowledge we can give them,” says Viviane Néri, the school’s principal.“People now realize that good manners make for good business.”
Among those who agree is Christopher Earley, the incoming dean at Purdue University’s Krannert School of Management and a co-author of Cultural Intelligence. Before globalization became the norm, “cultural issues were of less immediacy to businesses,” he says. “But that’s all changed in the past several decades with the flow of goods, services and information across transparent borders as well as the increasing interdependence of firms and 20)subsidiaries.” It’s this reality that draws mid-career executives to enroll at IVP, where they hope to gain an 21)edge with international clients; younger students come to prepare for careers in public relations and the foreign service. The school’s recent 22)roster listed 36 women, ranging in age from 18 to 46 and 23)hailing from 14 countries including Syria, Thailand and the U.S.
“This isn’t about staying at home and saying yes to everything my husband says or serving him,” says Polly, a 39-year-old wearing pearls, a blue dress and a pink 24)cardigan. “It’s about knowledge that empowers you as a modern lady.”Polly, who speaks fluent English, Mandarin and Cantonese, retired from a 25)lucrative job as an investment banker in 2007 and now manages her family’s funds from her home in Hong Kong. She plans to 26)deploy her new knowledge―like how to peel and eat 27)kiwis using only 28)cutlery―at 29)philanthropic events where she encounters Indian, Malaysian and Chinese investors. “Good manners are essential to business,” she says. “If you don’t have good manners, then your clients and colleagues will question your competence.”
Néri believes there is more pressure on women in the business world. “Generally their mistakes are less easily forgiven than those of men,” she says. To help more of her students obtain C-level 30)suites (CEO, 31)CFO, etc.), Néri serves as an 32)encyclopedia of cultural 33)taboos: Don’t ask a Spanish businessman about his family. (He’ll consider it invasive.) It’s not acceptable to talk about money in Europe (unless you’re in Russia). “We’re actually 34)antisnob,” Néri says. “The snobs are the ones who operate by secret codes and don’t explain them to you.”
35)Dissecting etiquette in a formal setting also gives women the opportunity to learn some unpleasant truths. “If a student’s outfit is in bad taste, then we tell her it doesn’t work,” Néri says. “She comes to get the feedback she won’t get from her friends or colleagues.” Teachers are equally quick to tell students if their table settings look 36)rushed or violate the rule of keeping plates at least 55 cm apart. Anna, a 40-something financial controller at an international company, 37)rolled her eyes, when teachers brought out irons during a class on folding napkins. But an hour later, she was 38)hooked. “You see the exactness and the 39)symmetry, and it gives a completely different atmosphere,” she says. “If your table is slightly 40)sloppy, your deal could 41)fall through. The client might think, ‘If the table is set like that, how will she treat my contract and our relationship?’”
Back in the dining room, the five student servers―stomachs 42)grumbling―have more pressing concerns. Their hostess’s husband continues to 43)spoon his Toblerone mousse. “Take your time,”says Nouf, a 19-year-old student from 44)Oman. When the man of the house finally finishes, they clear the table and escort the guests to the 45)drawing room for coffee. The waitresses return to the dining room, take off their gloves, wipe their foreheads and let out a massive sigh of relief. “I’ve been thinking about my servants all the time,” says Nouf. “It’s really hard work. I definitely have more respect for them.” For a true lady, that unexpected lesson may prove the most lasting.
瑞士“淑女班”
在瑞士女子精修学院，午餐让人感觉就像是在排练，事实上也的确如此。一切都在罗斯玛丽?麦克卡伦那敏锐双眼的严密监视下――她不仅是高级大厨，还是餐桌礼仪方面的专家。在场的13名女学生在课堂上学习了关于欧洲礼节和餐桌服务的课程后，就要在此练习相关礼仪。学生在一间有斜顶、气氛庄严的餐厅里用午餐，麦克卡伦婉转地提醒五名学生“侍应”在上香槟酒时要拿着靠近杯脚的地方，从左边给用餐者上梨挞馅饼。尽管这五名充当“侍应”的学生中有四名家里有佣人服侍用餐，但是教学内容要求所有学生都要轮流担任“侍应”，这是为了让她们在今后的工作中能更好地训练和管理下属。30岁的维拉扮演的角色是“女主人”，在餐桌上负责引入谈论话题，她从自己在黎巴嫩从事有关孤儿的工作，转而谈到一个喜欢骑马的墨西哥客人。一切都进行得很顺利，直到维拉喜欢的一款三角巧克力鲜奶油慕思上桌，这导致她犯了一个严重的错误。“你‘丈夫’还在用膳， 而你却已经结束了。”麦克卡伦说，“记住要调整你的速度。”
近60年来，瑞士女子精修学院（瑞士仅剩的一所传统精修学校）一直教授女性社交礼仪课程，内容包括插花、餐桌布置、下午茶服务技巧等。课程内容每年都会更新，课长六周，强度非常大，共216个课时，学成并成功通过45项考试的学生能获得国际社交礼仪学位。学生们每天要进行大量练习，例如如何快速制作出最流行的甜点、如何得体地遵循20个国家的社交习惯，如墨西哥（客人可以和侍应握手）及日本（筷子绝对不能插在发髻上做装饰）。不过，瑞士女子精修学院的教学动机有别于传统的淑女班（旨在为学生们的婚姻做好准备），旨在助人取得商业上的成功。“很多人有工商管理硕士学位，但是未必懂得一些社交和礼仪知识，这些我们可以教给她们。现在人们已经意识到，良好的教养是决定生意成功的要素之一，”校长薇薇安?聂里说。
美国普度大学克兰纳特管理学院的新院长、《文化智商》一书的合著者之一克里斯托夫?额里也认同这个说法。在全球化成为常态之前，“文化和商业没有如此直接的联系，”他说，“但在过去几十年里，随着商品、服务和信息跨过透明边界自由流动，企业间互相依 赖的程度不断增强，这一切发生了改变。”正是这一现实促使很多处于职业生涯中期的管理者报读女子精修学院，她们希望在这里通过学习社交和礼仪课程增强自身在赢得国际客商方面的优势。年轻一些的学员来到这里则是为今后进入公关公司或者涉外机构做准备。该学院最近一次的录取人数为36名女性，年龄介于18到46岁之间，分别来自14个国家，其中包括叙利亚、泰国和美国。
“来这里学习不是要你在家里，对丈夫俯首称是或者服务得无微不至，而是让你学习现代淑女所需的学问，”39岁的波莉说。她戴着珍珠项链，身着蓝色套裙和粉红色羊毛衫。波莉操一口流利的英语、普通话和粤语，2007年从一份收入可观的投资银行家职位上退下来，现在在香港管理着其家族的信托基金。她打算在慈善活动上运用自己学到的新知识――例如如何只用餐具剥食猕猴桃，这些活动上有来自印度、马来西亚和中国的投资者。“好的仪态对于商业成功至关重要，”她说，“如果你没有好的仪态修养，那么你的客人和同事就会质疑你的能力。”
聂里认为，商界女性所承受的压力更大。“通常，相比男性，女性在社交和商业领域所犯的错误更难被原谅，”她说。为了帮助学生们掌握管理人员级别（首席执行官、首席财务官等）的配套礼仪，聂里充当着一本文化禁忌方面的百科全书的角色：不要问西班牙商人的家庭情况（他会认为这是一种冒犯）；在欧洲随口谈钱不妥（而在俄罗斯就没问题）。“事实上我们反对‘假淑女’，”聂里说，“‘假淑女’是那种按照一套秘密代码行事而又不向人解释其中涵义的人。”
在正规场合详解各种礼仪也给了女性一个机会去获悉一些令人不快的真相。“如果一个学生的穿着品味很差，那么我们会 告诉她那样不行，”聂里说，“她可以获得一些很难从朋友和同事那里得到的反馈建议。”如果学生们的餐桌布置看上去很仓促，或者违反了每个盘子之间的距离至少要保持55厘米的规则，老师们会快速指出。在一堂讲述折叠餐巾的课上，当老师拿出熨斗演示如何熨烫餐巾时，来自一家跨国公司的财务管理人员、40来岁的安娜有些不以为然。不过一小时过后，她却着迷了。“你可以看到餐巾被折叠得精确而对称，那给人一种完全不同的感觉，”她说，“如果你的餐桌布置得有些微马虎，你的生意可能就泡汤了。你的客户可能会想，‘假如她把餐桌布置成这样，那她会如何对待我的合同和我们的关系呢？’”
回到学院的餐厅，五个饥肠辘辘的学生“侍应”已经有些急迫不安，他们的“男主人”还在用勺子吃着甜点。“请慢用，”来自阿曼的19岁学生诺夫说。当“男主人”终于吃完，“侍应”们清理餐桌，并陪同客人前往休息室喝咖啡。随后，“侍应”们回到餐厅，脱下手套，擦擦前额，大大地松了一口气。“学习期间，我常常会想起我的仆人，”诺夫说，“这真是一份辛苦的工作。我无疑对他们肃然起敬。”对一位真正的淑女而言，这个意外收获的影响或许才最为深远。